the post about thoughts where i read my old journal.....
its my journal of 2006.. ya..
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Random
Happy is not happy if there is no sorrows..
What am i doing?
feels like it is passing back slowly but when i look back it it felt the opposite, i mean time.
HAHA... my brain is almost empty....
HAHA... i wanna have fun....
hmm just realize that i've been drinking at least 2 cups of coffee a day...
and i still can sleep happily... as if it has no effect on me.... wait yes once it did.... i drank 7 cups...
haha...
i wanna online but i find no meaning in surfing the net...
btw why ppl can play with facebook so much? i like got nothing much to do there.
ok time to sleep. enough of random thoughts.
What am i doing?
feels like it is passing back slowly but when i look back it it felt the opposite, i mean time.
HAHA... my brain is almost empty....
HAHA... i wanna have fun....
hmm just realize that i've been drinking at least 2 cups of coffee a day...
and i still can sleep happily... as if it has no effect on me.... wait yes once it did.... i drank 7 cups...
haha...
i wanna online but i find no meaning in surfing the net...
btw why ppl can play with facebook so much? i like got nothing much to do there.
ok time to sleep. enough of random thoughts.
Friday, December 12, 2008
TEFILAH
The Hebrew word for prayer is tefilah. It is derived from the root Peh-Lamed-Lamed and the word l'hitpalel, meaning to judge oneself. This surprising word origin provides insight into the purpose of Jewish prayer. The most important part of any Jewish prayer, whether it be a prayer of petition, of thanksgiving, of praise of G-d, or of confession, is the introspection it provides, the moment that we spend looking inside ourselves, seeing our role in the universe and our relationship to G-d.Found this on the net.
Thoughts
Read through my old journal yesterday night. I saw Your grace bring abundant in my life. i saw how much You changed me. I'm thankful.
I saw my prayers in the past. I saw my pride and confidence i had through the prayers i wrote, asking God to grant me my will or to show me if my will is His will too. My will was still a big part of my prayer and my thoughts. When i wrote a new entry in my journal, I saw the contrast. Instead of asking God to grant my will or asking "IS IT THIS? OR THAT?" It is "what is Your will?"
I thought i was quite matured that time but as I looked back yesterday I saw myself childish. Now i think i'm kinda mature but at the same time i know I am still childish and probably when i read my journal again a couple years later I will think I was childish. Or I will just simply find myself at a different phase.
To put it simple, one thing that is much lesser in my prayers last time and much more in my prayers now is WAITING. (more than last time but not enough) This simple element is almost like the most important thing in maturity.
To wait and be still is one thing that i learned and still learning. A foundation of any relationship with You and a vital aspect in this relationship. To wait for you is less of my will more of Yours. To be still in you is I am weak and You are strong. A lesson that those of us who bear the name of Christ must learn. That we DECREASE so that you INCREASE. Stripping us of our confidence in our flesh and building our confidence in You. To WAIT is probably one of the greatest lesson one will learn.
The basic of more of God less of me. Many said that Man of God is always a Man of Prayer. I believe that it is true. So true. This simple part that Jesus yourself does whenever you have time to. YES it is so true.
I saw my prayers in the past. I saw my pride and confidence i had through the prayers i wrote, asking God to grant me my will or to show me if my will is His will too. My will was still a big part of my prayer and my thoughts. When i wrote a new entry in my journal, I saw the contrast. Instead of asking God to grant my will or asking "IS IT THIS? OR THAT?" It is "what is Your will?"
I thought i was quite matured that time but as I looked back yesterday I saw myself childish. Now i think i'm kinda mature but at the same time i know I am still childish and probably when i read my journal again a couple years later I will think I was childish. Or I will just simply find myself at a different phase.
To put it simple, one thing that is much lesser in my prayers last time and much more in my prayers now is WAITING. (more than last time but not enough) This simple element is almost like the most important thing in maturity.
To wait and be still is one thing that i learned and still learning. A foundation of any relationship with You and a vital aspect in this relationship. To wait for you is less of my will more of Yours. To be still in you is I am weak and You are strong. A lesson that those of us who bear the name of Christ must learn. That we DECREASE so that you INCREASE. Stripping us of our confidence in our flesh and building our confidence in You. To WAIT is probably one of the greatest lesson one will learn.
The basic of more of God less of me. Many said that Man of God is always a Man of Prayer. I believe that it is true. So true. This simple part that Jesus yourself does whenever you have time to. YES it is so true.
"Man of God is a Man of Prayer, if you are not a Man of Prayer you are not a Man of God." right?
Friday, December 5, 2008
Updates
a long time since my last post. So much happened.
1) i'm gonna be the next sem's CGC for IKUPM.
2) i went to IKUPM friendship camp in camerons. it was great!!! so memorable.
3) I went to HK for about 9 days to attend my sister's graduation in HK. it was a shopping spree for me too! haha. came back with a BABY TAYLOR guitar as well. got it at a very good price.
4)Went to FGA selayang's Youth Camp. A great one as well. Where the Spirit of God moved and spoke!!
will post pictures and so on!
1) i'm gonna be the next sem's CGC for IKUPM.
2) i went to IKUPM friendship camp in camerons. it was great!!! so memorable.
3) I went to HK for about 9 days to attend my sister's graduation in HK. it was a shopping spree for me too! haha. came back with a BABY TAYLOR guitar as well. got it at a very good price.
4)Went to FGA selayang's Youth Camp. A great one as well. Where the Spirit of God moved and spoke!!
will post pictures and so on!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Solitude
Raya holiday = Retreat week
2 planning retreat,
1 personal solitude.
God.... Meet me face to face...
2 planning retreat,
1 personal solitude.
God.... Meet me face to face...
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Pursuing God
Pursuing God
The author longed for God in a dry and weary land where there is no water, something like a desert. If i am in where he is "dry and weary land with no water" I will seek water, not God. But instead of longing for water, he longed for God. He even had the mood to sing this psalm to God. If i were him.... i'll be busy thinking of water, praying to God for water.... not God....
If i were there I'll probably write this.... v1. O Lord, I need water, please.
the author was in such great need, physical need, BASIC NEEDS. Instead of seeking to fulfill his physical needs(water..... BASIC NEEDS) he seek for God. He knows God is more important than water.... more important than LIFE itself.... For God is the giver of life..... he knows it full well... and he TRUST in Him....
Today we have desert in our life too. Unlike the author's desert. Our desert maybe financial difficulties, career politics and so on. Our "water" comes in the form of money, food, security.
Just like the psalmist David. He came face to face with his needs and God, which one comes first?
He denied his needs, the water he needed to live. Instead of crying out " WATER, WATER, He said GOD I NEED YOU, COME"
And when we go through these desert, do we long for him or "water" first?
I'm not saying that we can just look at God then dun get "water". It is not a question of choosing one and forsaking another but it is a question of our PRIORITY i believe.
Psalms 63:1 & 8For me these verse are the psalmist's desperate cry. He was telling God how he longs for Him how thirsty he is for Him. These words are most often used by us, including me. These are common words in the bible. However the last two lines of v1 struck my heart - "...in a dry and weary land where there is no water."
" 1. O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no water."
"8. my soul clings to you;
your right hand upholds me."
The author longed for God in a dry and weary land where there is no water, something like a desert. If i am in where he is "dry and weary land with no water" I will seek water, not God. But instead of longing for water, he longed for God. He even had the mood to sing this psalm to God. If i were him.... i'll be busy thinking of water, praying to God for water.... not God....
If i were there I'll probably write this.... v1. O Lord, I need water, please.
the author was in such great need, physical need, BASIC NEEDS. Instead of seeking to fulfill his physical needs(water..... BASIC NEEDS) he seek for God. He knows God is more important than water.... more important than LIFE itself.... For God is the giver of life..... he knows it full well... and he TRUST in Him....
Today we have desert in our life too. Unlike the author's desert. Our desert maybe financial difficulties, career politics and so on. Our "water" comes in the form of money, food, security.
Just like the psalmist David. He came face to face with his needs and God, which one comes first?
He denied his needs, the water he needed to live. Instead of crying out " WATER, WATER, He said GOD I NEED YOU, COME"
And when we go through these desert, do we long for him or "water" first?
I'm not saying that we can just look at God then dun get "water". It is not a question of choosing one and forsaking another but it is a question of our PRIORITY i believe.
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